Last month, something quietly monumental happened: I finished the photo project I had been working on for 18 months.
It began, as many things do, with loss. I started it because I wanted to work through the trauma of losing my mum and, most importantly, to reclaim the memories of our last weekend away.
Bargaining is a natural part of grief, and I spent a long time sitting with the feeling of “if only”. If only things had been different. If only we had known. But over time I came to realise that if I could have had one last weekend with my mum, we would have done exactly what we did.
It was a weekend of love, gratitude, happiness and very good food.
The project was always meant to be fleeting on social media, but I have decided to collect the photos here as a record of the complete project.
You will notice there are no photos of us, my mum, my brother and me. That is entirely intentional. Those moments belong to us, held just outside the frame.
What you will find instead is something else entirely: a reclaimed version of that weekend as it is remembered: softened, luminous, and still very much alive.
đź”— Where do you upload your photo projects to, if not a blog? I'm mainly active on Instagram and the Fediverse (also known as Mastodon) and would love to see you there.
























What a beautiful series of photos! This project is a beautiful tribute that honors your mother's memory while keeping those most precious, private moments safely held within your heart. It is truly monumental to see how you have transformed the "if onlys" of grief into such a softened and life-affirming record of a weekend defined by love. I am not on Instagram. Being on Aminus3 is a bit challenging where it only allows me to post one photo a day. Which means I have to be VERY selective on what I post, especially if I want to showcase a trip. I don't want to bore followers with three weeks of photos of a trip that others, like yourself, can encapsulate in one post. But I love the community Aminus3 has.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind comment.
DeleteI like the format of Aminus3 and Shutterchance and have always liked the idea of Photo A Day blogs. I might consider them in the future!
This is a tribute to your Mom that I'm sure she absolutely loves, Mandy! It's full of seeing, tasting, feeling and listening. YOU and your brother will forever hold as sacred this memory of your last weekend together with your Mom. Thank you for whatever you went through mentally and emotionally to finally share it with us here.
ReplyDeleteThank you! It took quite a lot of energy to complete it!
DeleteBeautiful photos. Beautiful memory of your family weekend.
ReplyDeleteThank you Tanja, it was a lovely weekend!
DeleteBonjour Mandy
ReplyDeleteTes photos sont vraiment très belles
On y retrouve une forme de sérénité apaisante qui me plait beaucoup
Merci d'avoir partagé cette journée très importante pour toi
Bonne journée à toi
Merci pour vos gentilles paroles, Claudine
DeleteMandy, what a gift to get this opportunity to spent a last weekend with your mom and brother. The memories made there will always stay with you. Making this post will you help not to forget those special, dear moments. I know this must not be easy. It is important that you take time to grief and talk about it. Thank you for sharing this emotional story with us.
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful day, Mandy.
Thank you lovely Astrid
DeleteWas Worthing chosen for a particular reason eg to relive childhood memories? If so, what a perfect place to capture those memories.
ReplyDeleteHi Hels, my mum was disabled and used a mobility scooter, so all of our destinations in the final 5 years of her life were chosen based on accessibility. We went to Paris, Iceland, Bristol, Worthing, Folkestone and Clacton
DeleteI think perhaps you chose Worthing for this project, as it was important to your family in the past, perhaps from childhood, Mandy? I get it that you give us the views and the vibe, but keep the private family photos for yourselves. That resonates.
ReplyDeleteNo, we didn't know when we planned the trip with my mum that it would be her last. She passed away the day we returned home. We chose it because it was accessible for her mobility scooter and all the restaurants were so lovely with accommodating her
Deletea thought provoking post. i think you conveyed that very well - doing exactly what you did with your mother and brother. wonderful photos
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Ayush
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